


Just Add a Pinch of Slash

by A Sirius Crush On Moony (Obsession137)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble Collection, M/M, Slash, multi-pairing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 16:16:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7368763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsession137/pseuds/A%20Sirius%20Crush%20On%20Moony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble collection of Marauder's Era slash. Be prepared for the weirdest and wildest pairings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Elevator (Arthur/Lucius)

**Author's Note:**

> This collection will be a collection of different drabbles and one-shots about different weird and wacky pairings from the Marauder's Era. The same pairing will never come up twice.
> 
> This chapter is Arthur Weasley/Lucius Malfoy.

Arthur Weasley was an honest, loyal man who would do anything for his family. He was brave, and kind – everything a Gryffindor should be. That was, until the day in the elevator.

Working at the Ministry of Magic was hectic. It was very rare that you'd step into the elevator and be the only one in there. So it was strange, and rather awkward on that morning when Arthur stepped into the elevator to be met with Lucius Malfoy's cold stare.

The two stood side-by-side in utter silence. Arthur played with the hem of his robes whilst Lucius stared pointedly at the door, waiting impatiently for it to open. But it didn't.

The elevator came to a rough halt halfway between two floors. The two men glanced at each other.

"Well, do something, Weasley," Lucius drawled in a bored voice. "I don't have all day."

Arthur was also very busy. He had a lot to attend to, so in this moment he couldn't be bothered to snap at the Malfoy. He leaned forwards and took a good look at the buttons. There was a 'help' button, and he pressed it quickly and waited.

The silence was deafening, and help didn't seem to be on the way.

"So whilst we're stuck together in this awful elevator," Lucius said slowly. "I'd like to try something."

Arthur didn't know how to respond. "Okay," he said.

Before the red-head could react, he was being shoved up against the elevator wall and pinned against it with a force that he wasn't at all used to. He tried to push Lucius off, but the other man was much stronger. "I'm going to kiss you."

"Wha-"

Arthur was cut off by rough lips crashing against his own, and a warm tongue forcing its' way into his mouth. He _tried_ not to kiss back, but it was overwhelming. Having only kissed one person his entire life, this was fantastic. It felt so different than kissing Molly did, and there was some sort of electricity pulsing through the two of their bodies as their mouths moved together in an urgent rhythm that they were starting to get the hang of.

Air was starting to become an issue, and just as Lucius pulled his face away, the elevator started to move again.

"Sorry, Weasley," Lucius said, his voice calm. "I just had to try it. Just this once."

Arthur cleared his throat awkwardly and tried not to think about the kiss that had ignited something deep within him. He was so angry with himself, but at the same time he was desperate for more. The blond man was quite the charmer.

He watched as Lucius put his hand in his robes pocket, and then quicker than ever, he pulled his wand out and pointed it at Arthur.

"What are you doing?" Arthur asked, fumbling around in his pockets for his own wand.

"As I said, I'm sorry," Lucius murmured. "Obliviate."

Arthur stood very still and then the elevator door opened. "Is this not your floor, Weasley?" Arthur turned to see Lucius Malfoy standing next to him. He couldn't remember getting into the elevator – that was strange. He stepped out and headed off to his office unaware of what had happened.

So maybe Arthur was not as great a man as he and his family thought – but at the end of the day, he had already forgotten, so he went home to his family and ate dinner and slept next to Molly, none the wiser.


	2. Embarrassing (Rabastan/Gilderoy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rabastan has a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rabastan Lestrange/Gilderoy Lockhart (kinda cracky).

Rabastan Lestrange would die if anybody found out about his most embarrassing obsession. No, he wouldn't die. Rather, he'd feel like he was dying but instead of dying, he'd have to live through the humiliation of everybody knowing about his obsession.

So on that day when said 'obsession' was heading to Diagon Alley for a book signing, Rabastan was extremely careful in his method of travelling to the location of the signing. He wore a large black robe which had a hood attached that fell right over his face. He kept his face down and he walked at a fast pace. The quick walking wasn't a sneaky thing—it was more of an excited thing. He was excited to meet his 'obsession'.

When Rabastan finally reached the shop in which the signing was taking place, he let out a deep breath and stepped inside. It was crowded in the shop, and he was just slightly ashamed at the fact that most of the other people were women and young girls. He felt a little bit outnumbered, but nevertheless he pushed through the crowd.

One girl yelled at him. "Hey! No pushing ahead!"

Rabastan lowered himself down to the girl's level. "Shove off, _girl_ ," he growled at her. The girl looked terrified and disappeared into the crowd. Rabastan stood up straight again and continued pushing his way through the crowd until he final reached the front.

And there he was. The man that Rabastan, and all of the women had come to see.

Gilderoy Lockhart.

 _And he's even more beautiful in person_ , Rabastan thought, as he lowered his hood and stared at the man in awe. Rabastan wasn't gay. No, he couldn't be. But he had to admit, Gilderoy Lockhart was a fine specimen of man, and maybe the Slytherin could make one exception. I mean, it was _Gilderoy Freaking Lockhart._

Rabastan waved excitedly at the author and legend that stood before him. Lockhart smiled a smile that revealed all of his pearly whites and winked. This almost paralysed Rabastan. He swallowed hard, trying to remain calm. He _needed_ to remain calm—after all, imagine the embarrassment of Gilderoy Lockhart watching him scream like a little girl like he so desperately wanted to.

Rabastan felt as though he was dreaming when Lockhart stepped towards him. Surely he couldn't be looking at Rabastan…

He glanced around, and sure enough, there was nobody else that he _could_ be looking at. Rabastan grinned.

"Hello," Lockhart said in his low, raspy voice. All that Rabastan could think of was how damned sexy his voice sounded.

_NOT. GAY._

"Hello," Rabastan replied. "Pleasure to meet you, Mister Lockhart."

"The pleasure is mine. What is your name? It's not often that I get men at my signings and public events."

Rabastan tried not to feel embarrassed by this. "My name is Rabastan. But you can call me Rab—" he realised he was being slightly too hopeful. "—Or not, I mean."

"So are you in love with me, Rab? Like all of these… _women_?" Lockhart asked, his smile never failing to make Rabastan's heart do weird things.

"I beg your pardon?" Rabastan spluttered. "In love with you?"

"Well, why else would you be here?" Lockhart winked. "And looking at me like _that_?"

"I—"

"—It's alright," Lockhart said quickly, leaning closer. "I think you are pretty fine yourself. And I must say, you're more my type than the rest of this crowd, if you know what I mean."

"Oh," Rabastan replied, speechless. He wasn't sure where this was going, but it was sounding quite promising.

"Would you care to go out to dinner with me tonight, Rab?"

" _YES_ ," Rabastan all but yelled. He internally kicked himself for his behaviour.

"Then it's a date," Lockhart replied. "See you tonight, handsome." Lockhart winked, and then headed back to wave at the rest of the crowd.

Rabastan knew that he was probably signing his death certificate, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was happy, and that was all that mattered.


	3. Truth or Dare (James/Remus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marauders play Truth or Dare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus Lupin/James Potter.

Today was the day of the Marauder's 'Annual Truth or Dare – With Veritaserum-Spiked Firewisky'. It had been a thing since first year, except that the firewhisky had been pumpkin juice and there had been no veritaserum. But this was sixth year. The boys were older now, more mature. Ah, who were they kidding? They couldn't be mature if they tried.

Remus poured the vial of veritaserum that they'd stolen -against his approval- earlier that day into the bottle of firewhisky that they'd smuggled into their dorm. They waited a moment for the potion to mix with the alcohol, and then Sirius grabbed the bottle, lifting it high above his head.

"Let's play!" Sirius yelled. He poured the drink into each of their glasses, and then they drank. Remus could feel the familiar burning down his throat except that it tasted different with veritaserum. He was already dreading this game. He hoped they wouldn't ask him the question he feared the most…

"Peter first. Truth or dare?" James said.

"Truth," Peter replied, looking confident. James thought for a moment before asking his question.

"Have you ever been kissed, by an actual girl?" James asked. "Who isn't your mother or anyone related to you?"

Peter flushed and shook his head. "No. As embarrassing as that is, no."

James and Sirius sniggered amongst themselves, while Peter rolled his eyes. "Your turn, Sirius," he said, changing the subject.

"Dare," Sirius replied.

"I dare you to charm your robes green and walk around tomorrow like a Slytherin," Peter challenged. Sirius hadn't expected this – his face made that very obvious.

"That's disgraceful!" Sirius spluttered, looking horrified.

"That's your dare," Peter shrugged. Sirius sighed in defeat.

"Fine," he said quietly. "Remus, truth or dare?"

"… Truth?" Remus said uncertainly, taking a drink to try and help with his nervousness.

Sirius smirked. "Who do you fancy?"

Remus's eyes almost burst out of his head. How had Sirius managed to ask the one question that Remus had dreaded the most? Remus was surely going to die – right here and right now. His face was redder than a Gryffindor banner, and his heart was thumping in his chest. He wished he could lie, but how could he? Not with the veritaserum running through him.

"I… do you - _UGH_. Do you have to ask that question?" Remus asked, desperate for Sirius to take the question back. " _Please._ Anything but that."

Sirius looked a little sympathetic. "Oh, alright. But you have to take a dare instead."

"I take a dare."

"I dare you to ask James on his turn who _he_ fancies."

Remus glanced at James, who raised his eyebrows at him. Remus felt that warm fluttering in his chest as he always felt when James looked at him that way.

"So I get no choice of truth or dare?" James asked.

"Apparently not," Remus replied.

" _I_ invented this game, remember," Sirius said quickly. "I make the rules, and you have to use truth this round."

"Fine," James shrugged, staring at Remus expectantly. Remus was sure his heart might just jump out of his chest. Those eyes were burning straight into him.

"Who do you fancy?" Remus asked softly, hoping more than ever that James would say-

"-You," James whispered.

Remus blinked, once, twice, three times. This couldn't be happening. Surely this was a lie… but the veritaserum! Remus really did try not to grin like a freak, but his emotions betrayed him.

"I take it that makes you happy?" James asked, cocking his head to the side and smiling warmly at Remus. Remus nodded.

"Just a bit."

"Am I missing something here?" Peter asked, looking confused.

"I think they fancy each other," Sirius whispered, watching in anticipation.

Remus leaned forwards so that his face was only inches from James's. "Can I kiss you?" he murmured.

James nodded, and that was all it took for them to bring their lips together in a chaste kiss that lasted no longer than five seconds. When they pulled apart, they stared at one another as though seeing each other for the first time.

"I dare you to be mine," James said with a smile.

"Challenge accepted. And I dare you to kiss me like that every day forever," Remus replied, resisting the urge to kiss his friend again.

James grinned, wrapping his arms around Remus tightly. "Challenge most definitely accepted."

And they kept true to their words.

Over the years, the Marauders came back together once a year for their annual game. It was like nothing had changed – except for the fact that James's and Remus's dares for one another became just slightly too crude for this K-rated story.


	4. Making Love For Centuries (Sirius/Sanguini)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black is a vampire who only wants to have a little fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black/Sanguini.

Being a vampire had its perks, as Sirius Black knew all too well. He lay motionless for a couple of seconds next to the human he'd just made love to, letting his silver eyes flicker for a moment from the man's lifeless chest, and then to his pierced neck. It was unfair, Sirius thought, that he had all of these intense urges, but when he followed through with them he would lose all control and kill his lover.

Sirius only wished he could find someone who was as strong as he was. He lusted for someone who would not flinch at his stone-like skin or his sharp fangs. He needed another vampire, but his only problem was that he knew of no other vampires than his family.

The Black Family were all vampires, and as much as he craved to make love to a vampire, he would never dream of it being with a family member.

And so Sirius was stuck. It wasn't until one day he was at a particularly boring function with his family that he caught sight of Sanguini. The man was tall and handsome. He was gazing right at Sirius, sending a tantalising shiver through his body. What Sirius found most erotic about this man was that he was definitely _not_ a man. He was a vampire.

Abandoning his usual and natural speed, Sirius walked slowly towards Sanguini, devouring him with his eyes as he did so.

"I have a bed upstairs," Sirius murmured candidly.

"Get to the point," Sanguini drawled.

"I want you in it," Sirius whispered, leaning closer. " _With me_."

The other vampire regarded Sirius briefly and then nodded.

"Very well."

It would be an understatement to say that they did not emerge for a while; they were in Sirius's bed for centuries.


	5. The Storm (Sirius/Regulus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus is scared of storms so he seeks comfort in his brother's bed. Incest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black/Regulus Black.

There was a storm brewing outside—the claps of thunder were deafening and the strikes of lightning illuminated Regulus's room. Shuddering, Regulus jumped out of his bed and ran from his room into Sirius's without knocking.

Slamming the door open so loudly that it made the thunder sound like a whisper, Regulus rushed over to his brother's bed and slipped under the covers. He knew that he was being childish—he was fifteen years old—but he was terrified of storms. Sirius didn't seem to mind, wrapping two arms around Regulus and holding him in a way that always made Regulus feel strangely safe.

Morning dawned and Regulus opened his eyes. It took him a minute to remember why he was in Sirius's room. His brother's arm was still wrapped around him, and Regulus turned his head to look up at Sirius's face.

He looked so peaceful, Regulus mused. Sirius's eyebrows arched elegantly over his closed eyes and his dark eyelashes brushed against his pale, flawless skin. Sirius's lips were slightly parted, letting out slow breaths.

Regulus swallowed as a certain unwanted thought came to mind.

 _I want to kiss him_.

The younger Black wasn't quite sure why he had the sudden urge to kiss his sleeping brother, but he did. Regulus carefully leaned up and kissed Sirius softly on the lips.

"What was that for?"

Sirius's sudden words made Regulus jump. Terrified of his brother's reaction, Regulus covered his face like an embarrassed child.

"What was what for?" he mumbled against his hands.

"You kissed me," Sirius said with the trace of a smile in his voice.

"Didn't," Regulus said, mortified. He felt a hand covering his hands, prying them from his face. Sirius was staring at him with a look that Regulus couldn't put his finger on.

And then he kissed him, and it was like there was nobody else in the world. It was bliss.


	6. The Weird One (Xenophilius/Peter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter asks Xenophilius on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Pettigrew/Xenophilius Lovegood.

Peter Pettigrew had always been labelled as 'The Weird One' from his group of friends. He wasn't really complaining—in fact, most of the time he agreed with his label. For one, he wasn't the typical Gryffindor. He acted more cowardly than brave ninety-nine percent of the time. He was also labelled as weird because he had a strange obsession for food. Where James ranted about Lily, Peter would rant about food. Strangely, he never gained any weight despite his obsession.

But the weirdest thing about Peter Pettigrew was that he was madly in love with a certain Ravenclaw. James, Sirius and Remus could never understand the feelings he felt because, well, they were all straight. Also, they were drawn to the ordinary. Peter, however, was intrigued by Xenophilius Lovegood. He had only ever watched the Ravenclaw from afar, but he knew in his heart that he was in love with him.

"You wanted to see me?"

Peter broke out of his daze in an instant at the sound of Xenophilius's voice. He let himself smile. Bright blue eyes stared into his own light brown, and his heart began to race.

"I'm not very brave," Peter murmured, fiddling with the hem of his robes. "Definitely not cut out for Gryffindor… anyway… I have to ask you something."

Xenophilius just simply nodded.

Drawing in a deep breath, Peter spoke. "Will you be my date to Hogsmeade on Saturday?"

He watched carefully as the Ravenclaw reacted to his question. He had been expecting some sort of grimace or raised eyebrow. Being 'The Weird One' tended to evoke those sorts of reactions. What he hadn't expected was the smile Xenopilius sent his way.

"It would not be very smart to go to Hogsmeade with you," Xenophilius said softly.

"Why's that?" Peter asked, feeling his heart hammering. Xenophilius shrugged.

"You're 'The Weird One'. My reputation—"

Peter smirked. "—You can hardly talk. I've seen you wear radishes in your hair."

"True," Xenophilius replied with a smile. "Besides, I was never really that smart. Definitely not cut out for Ravenclaw."

"You stole my line."

"No, I replaced 'brave' with 'smart', and 'Gryffindor' with 'Ravenclaw'."

Peter raised his eyebrows and laughed. "So is that a yes?"

"That is a yes," Xenophilius replied. "I guess I will see you there."

And like that, Peter was content. He was no longer 'The Weird One'. He and Xenophilius were 'The Weird Ones'. And he loved it.


	7. Secrets (James/Severus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Severus are having a tough time, so James finally tells Severus the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James Potter/Severus Snape.

Severus paced back and forth as he pinched the bridge of his nose with a little more force than necessary. He didn't stop to look up at his boyfriend. He just paced.

James sighed and stood up, grabbing Severus's hands and forcing their eyes to meet. "Please trust me."

"I'm trying," Severus said through gritted teeth. His eyes were darting around the room in an attempt to look at anything else but James. Severus sighed. "You aren't making it easy."

James hated what had become of their relationship. At the start, everything had been perfect. He must have been stupid to think that he'd get away with having a normal relationship. The lies were just piling up, and both James and Severus were at breaking point.

"I love you," James said desperately, gripping Severus's hands tighter. "Please believe that."

"It's my birthday," Severus whispered, looking hurt. "I don't usually care about such things but I thought that you did. I thought that—never mind. As usual, I come second to your friends."

"Sev," James pleaded. "It's not like that."

"So what is it that's so important that you're going to miss my birthday?" Severus demanded. James sighed and pursed his lips. He had been playing around with a scary idea in his head for the past couple of weeks, but he hadn't really intended to carry it out. But staring into Severus's distraught eyes made him change his mind.

James suddenly felt a mix of cautious and nauseous. He was about to do something that could have devastating consequences. Remus would hate him forever if things went wrong.

"I will tell you," James said slowly. "But you must promise to keep it a secret. It isn't my secret to tell."

Severus smiled slightly and nodded. "I promise, James."

James exhaled deeply. He could feel his palms beginning to get sweaty from his hold on Severus, but he couldn't let go until he'd fixed things. "The reason that I need to be with Remus is because he needs me. He's a—a werewolf."

He searched Severus's eyes for some sort of disgust or disapproval, and none came. Only surprise seemed to cross his face.

"I—that's'—I won't tell," Severus said quickly. "But what can _you_ do?"

James laughed. "You can't tell anybody about this either. I could go to Azkaban."

Severus smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Doing illegal things? Kinda turns me on."

James rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Of course it does."

"Well, go on."

"I'm an animagus," James replied, and the words came out easier than he would have expected. He guessed it was because he trusted Severus more than anyone.

Severus looked impressed. "Wow. That's… well done."

"Thanks."

"What animal are you?" Severus asked.

"I'm a stag," James said softly. "On the full moon, I stay with Remus to stop him from hurting himself."

Severus smiled, and James loosened his grip on the Slytherin's hands. Severus lifted his hand up to caress James's face gently. "You," he said, "are something else, you know that?"

"I am?"

Severus nodded and leaned forwards to plant a chaste kiss on James's lips. "Mhm," he said. "I don't particularly like Gryffindors—"

"—Really? I never would have guessed—"

"—Shush," Severus scolded. "I never liked Gryffindors, but the things that I love the most about you tend to be the most Gryffindor things about you."

James smiled. "Like?"

"Like your unmatchable loyalty, and your courage."

"I love you," James murmured.

"And I love _you_ ," Severus replied, pressing another kiss to James's soft lips. And just like that, everything was fixed. James couldn't be happier.


End file.
